It's Time to Heal Our Women
The Search for peace
I like to peruse social media to research, study, engage with followers and of course socialize. Each day there is always something that brings awareness to the Life Coach in me. Then I realize that there's something else; A time to reflect and sit still within my own awareness of what triggers me emotionally, whether happy, sad, angry or perplexed. I am always in search of answers to my curiosity.
For years, I couldn't understand why am I bothered by other's actions or why do I have the impulse to run to the assistance of others that appear to need help? It wasn't until 2010 that I truly realized that my purpose here is to help edify individuals and to assist them into their own purpose. However, I had some enlightenment of my own I had to get through. You may have heard of the quote "When the student is ready, the teach will appear." I had not a clue that my initiation process had started decades before I decided to show up for my own journey.
My mother taught me as a child to always seek answers, do research, never stop learning and never allow anyone to convince me that I wouldn't amount to anything. Well it was easier said than done, because my mother had healing of her own to get through. Outwardly, I learned so much about the world around me and subliminally, I learned that the ones closer to you hurts you the most; and that was actually okay because at least you know they love you. What a fucked up way to function through life right?
My entire life has become a lesson on how to be strong in faces of opposition, love my enemies, be a good girl, don't lie or steal, everyone isn't a friend and the famous adage; Boys only want ONE thing. Up until my awareness I lived my life simply by getting by, riding out the horrors that come about because as my church folk would tell me over and over again "Trouble don't last always." Well, trouble doesn't last in a physical sense by psychologically? That trouble becomes part of your DNA, your habits, your lifestyle and interweaves into relationship or parenting styles. It's not until we are fully well-informed that it is time for healing that we begin our process to healing ourselves in order to connect to the world around us.
In January I wrote on Spiritual disconnection and the effects it has on us. So allow me to throw out this disclaimer before we get started (and borrowed from my recent blog) The intent of this post is to enlighten people on following their own path of truth. As a coach my desire is to direct to our inner peace in order to heal old wounds and live life freely as we were created to do while serving our purpose.
But first, I want to speak to our women
Women harness so much feminine power, beauty and rays of light that it is impossible to ignore them. Even when they are behaving badly. Our beings can nurture or annoy with great passion. Our desire is to love, teach, inspire, create and enjoy everything there is to life. Just as we want to fight for injustice, protect our families, adopt and secure well being. In actuality we want to co-rule the world with support and respect. We can do all things when we come into our awareness of such power and just let the hell go! I know many of you have that same question I used to ask "But I cannot forgive easily or just let go, because. . ." As unrealistic as it sounds, letting go in order to improve your life can truly happen when you truly realize that holding on only hurt you.
Powerful Messages Through Words or Music
When I was a child, my parents enjoyed music more than we watched T.V. My mother would have the record player going on while she cleaned, sewed, painted or when she was depressed. My father would enjoy music on his days off and when entertaining. Both of my parents played an instrument or sang. I remember growing up, my father would have guitar jam sessions with his friends and sometimes he would have a couple of local Blues celebrities at our home. When he'd go out and not come home for a couple of days, sad melodies of heartbreak and pain that would fill our walls. Basically, in good times and bad times, we had music.
I'd remember sitting on our porch one summer and a girl in our neighborhood was walking down the street in a mini skirt, blown out fro, 4inch stacks and so much makeup. Her presence made many people uncomfortable, especially the women. I would over hear the neighbor tell my mother to "watch her around your husband" or she was a street walker and wasn't even 18 yet. On that summer day my mother would tell me "she is Annie Mae".
Natalie Cole was a favorite singer of my mother. She would buy every album Natalie released. Natalie was with my mother through thick and thin. She helped my mother more than she'd ever know. The best thing about Natalie is she told many stories through her music that would tell many stories to come. Natalie had a song that the house music community would come to adore years to come "Annie Mae". It told a story of a girl hurt, betrayed and unloved.
So, what did my mother mean by referring to the girl as "Annie Mae"? The words to the song resonated so much with my mother and I had no idea at that time she identified with the girl because she often would think of her. I was a child when my mother explained to me that she could have easily been an Annie Mae and warned me to never become her.
Well, I didn't become Annie Mae per se, but I sure as hell want to reach in and nurture the "inner" Annie Mae of my being. I want you to bear with me as I go through the lyrics to thoroughly examine how we all can use some healing in order to identify how to communicate with our sisters that cannot grasp the love we all seek.
Growing up wasn't easy for Annie Mae A little girl in a great big world Annie Mae No one knew about her past Some people swore she'd never last
Growing Just a little too fast Never had her a mama, no, no Annie Mae Rarely heard a kind spoken word Annie Mae Looking at life through an empty shell And all the time she's catching hell She was growing (growing up much too fast) up much too fast
Does anybody know where is Annie Mae today Where oh where is Annie Mae All you got to do is look into the faces of All the young girls On the avenue--(young girls!) Oh, well, (hoo, hoo, hoo) ha In the night hear her cry, Annie Mae (hoo, hoo, hoo) Hurt and pain keeps coming again And again, and again, Annie Mae (hoo, hoo, hoo)
Trippin' and runnin' is blowin' her mind Tryin' to decide if she'll make it this time
She was (growing up) oh, yeah (much too fast) She was (growing up much too fast) Somebody got to stop her, oh annie, annie (ooh) (hoo, hoo, hoo) (where is Annie Mae) Annie, annie Somebody (ooh) (hoo, hoo, hoo) (where is Annie Mae) Got to stop her, oh, annie, annie, (ooh) (hoo, hoo, hoo) (where is Annie Mae) Annie, annie She's runnin', she's runnin' Growin' up too fast, oh, oh (she's running') oh, oh Growin' up too fast, oh, oh (she's runnin') oh, oh Growin' up too fast, oh, hey (she's runnin') annie, Annie Mae, yeah
Courtesy of YouTube ~ Capital Records/BGO Music
The Healing Can Start As Soon As We Acknowledge It
Annie Mae can be any girl on the street, girls jumping other girls, mothers leaving babies in hot cars, fighting baby daddies or girlfriends because he's moved on. Annie Mae is a frightened girl who's innocence was buried into the graves of abusers, inscribed on the cemetery markers in potters-field. She is the woman kneeling in the church asking for pain to just go away and to never allow a man to touch her again. Annie Mae is also the over achiever that is consumed with work, no time for relationships because there aren't any men worthy of her and she is also the woman is beaten because that is the only love she knows.
Love for Annie Mae is so far fetched it's a fable. She'd rather deal with the fact love is a feeling from others rather than feel love for herself. Therefore when there is a dirty look exchanged or a fight breaking out among women, it's not just a mere brawl of heated exchanges. It is a ritual of self-defeat and agony that cannot be expressed because for so long Annie Mae was told she wasn't valuable enough to be heard, loved or be beautiful.
So where is Annie Mae? You don't have to look far, just as Natalie says "look in to the faces of all the young girls". If you look deeper into some of the older women, the elegy of Annie Mae dwells within her too.
Courtesy of YouTube ~ BGO/Capital Records
A Alanda "Goldie" Gregory
Coaching Soul Transparency